I Can’t Breathe

I can’t breathe

And I haven’t been breathing for years

I’m too choked up on tears

Or was it actually fears?

I can’t breathe

Garner couldn’t gather his breath in 2014

It was that cops job to suffocate on scene

He was protecting and serving like a heartless machine

I can’t breathe

Neither can Breonna Taylor after a misplaced raid

For innocently resting after EMT work a price was paid

Shot 8 times causing her light to fade

I can’t fucking breath

Ultimate action for non violent crimes

Cops choked out George Floyd as he lay their confined

Joining the pantheon of those murdered in these times

I can’t breathe

When it’s okay to kneel on black America’s neck

But lord willing we must keep Kapernick’s knee in check!

How dare he stand for equal respect

I can’t breath

Because I’ve lost count of the cases

So many situations so many places

Just to breath while black sours their faces

I can’t breathe

Because I was sentenced at birth

My melanin determined my worth

Just who are you to judge me on Earth?

I can’t breathe

because I have to teach my son to hold his tongue and hold his breath

One wrong word could mean his death

But even when he complies his life could be stolen by racist theft

I can’t breathe

Because black America doesn’t know whether to vote or fight

Either could. cause execution on sight

But am I supposed to live in fright?

I can’t breath

The hands of racism threaten my life

Where their could be unity they cause only strife

This is the reality of the black man, always under the knife

I can’t breathe

-Poetic Ice

the spoken word form of this can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpwQdzihmw4

Forever Wrong

I walk the wrong path

Or rather I’m am wrong on my path

Every step I make begets another’s wrath

I am always reminded that I’m wrong

At this point this haunting tune is my song

A them rife with a game show error gong

Just fucking once I’d like to hear “Good job!”

But nope, they’ll never appreciate this blob

At this point I don’t even sob

Forever is my destiny to be one who fails

The guy trying go forward with holes in my sails

The one who is swallowed by the gales

This is my sad familiar song

The one that’s been playing so long

The ballad of one who is forever wrong

-Pietic Ice

Light and Dark

The darkness within the light

Ever present ready to break the surface with fright

It’s never far away

Always there, every single day

You thought you were a hero

The world reminded you that your worth is zero

So the darkness is strong

Ever proving the light is wrong

You tried to pray to those above

Lamenting that you wish you were full of love

Wishing your prayers keep the Gods fed

But the crushing pain in your chest tells you God’s dead/

The darkness is ever devouring

Swallowing you down into acid ever scouring

Fist unclenched, loss of will to fight

The darkness has surrounded the light

All light starting to dim and fade

The luminescent swan song is being played

The darkness is all there is, all there will be

The light within dampened, trapped for all eternity

A letter….

If I wrote you a suicide letter would you reply?

If I let my ink run out, would you let it dry?

Do I have to leave you bereft?

Just to summon the person who left.

Urging the comeback of the man I was

A person who had confidence in all he does

Now I’m adrift in a dark sea

Suffocating in the thought of me

I hate myself, and I’m to blame

Pretty sure I’m clinically insane

Emotions buried down, heart stopping

My two kids, the only thing keeping me from dropping/

I’m constantly climbing out of an insurmountable hole/

Shedding layers of my soul

It would be easier to cease all breath

Welcome the cold embrace of death

They say get hobbies and time will heal

But I have no hobbies, and it hurts to feel

Every second of every day is pain

I crave relief, but my kids make me refrain

But how long will that win?

What can stop this immoral sin?

Maybe I’ll try to talk, write a letter.

Maybe if I vomit words I’ll feel better.

Take a blade to my wrists let the ink flow

Let’s give miracle prose a go.

I’m writing you a suicide letter, will you reply?

But my ink is running out, will you let it dry?

-Poetic Ice

Happy boy, Sad man

My sweet spring bore a bitter winter

But I can’t recall where my life began to splinter/

I was loved, was the happiest of progeny

Now it seems I’m employed by the depression agency/

This surely wasn’t my life’s plan…

Happy boy, Sad man….

My fragrant breeze of spring beget a pungent gale of winter/

But when did my smile burn to cinders?

I had the entire world, in control of its motion

Now I don’t even master my emotion

Disheartened, broken head of my clan,

The Happy Boy, and Sad Man

-Poetic Ice

New Arrivals

I am anxious to meet you
My young black queen
My heart flutters for you
Awaiting your arrival on the scene
My little Hemingway Girl born of Me
Just thinking of it makes me cheese!
Truly your reign will be one to see!
I already know I’m going to bend how you please
I just can’t wait to hold you
Already loving you so much
I am so anxious to meet you
I can’t wait for you to know your Daddy’s touch

Intrusive Thoughts

The silence I crave never lasts
The whispers of intrusion creep in fast
Exposing the demons from within
Scorching my peace yet again
My brain beats against my skull because something is wrong
The intrusive thoughts are singing their enchanting song
Do the wrong thing, make the wrong remark
Say the wrong thing, hurt everyone’s heart
The Silence I crave is never coming back
Not with anxiety and depression leading the attack
I crave the silence so I can hide
With every thought I’m reminded how my sanity has died

Intrusive Thoughts

Be quiet, Hide under the covers, Don’t wake!

Shun the light and Don’t heed the voices, They’re Fake!

Push through the pain as your brain rots

Face the mirror backwards to hide from the Intrusive Thoughts

That reflection isn’t you, just because it has your face

it’s intrusive thoughts coming to take your place

Sneering in the inverse beckoning the sin

The depression is starting to manifest, Darkness covets a win

The intrusive thoughts are getting too heavy to lift

Chemicals are waning i’m starting to feel a shift

Becoming forgetful now, forgetting my life’s role

Intrusive thoughts are devouring my soul

So be quiet, get lost in a dream, Don’t wake!

Run from the light, fear the voices, they’re fake!

Endure the sepsis of soul as your brain rots

Face the mirror backwards to hide from the Intrusive Thoughts…

-Poetic Ice

The Best Part of Me

Oh Sweet Summer Child of Mine

With a prominent curly crown and melanin filled skin divine

I grow in awe of you, every second of every hour

Get lost in your endearing eyes that radiate power

The world didn’t know beauty until your birth

and that’s just one of your soul’s many gifts on this Earth

A black king who’s brilliance is unmatched

A smile that’ll make angels blush, How could anyone not grow attached?

I asked for a light in the darkness and God gave me a son

I may be slightly biased, but I believe you are the Chosen one

It’s been the greatest honor watching you grow

I’m sometimes still in shock that i’m a part of this show

I promise to love and support you, give you every part of me

Just to make sure you grow into a powerful king for all to see

-Poetic Ice

Tribute to the Sun

As long as the sun illuminates my eyes

I’ll have the insatiable desire to plant in the garden between your thighs

Oh to press my warm lips to the petals of your delicate rose

Gently drinking your life dew as my nature grows

With every sip I shiver as I anticipate diving in your river

Using every inch of my power to make the bed quick until you quiver

Something we’ve done countless times before, yet always feels new

Our bodies screaming in ecstasy as i dive into you

Ravaging your soul all night until the job is done

So we can offer up our orgasm as tribute to the morning sun

-Poetic Ice

Pills for Feels

What do you do when feeling useless becomes the norm?

When you’ve given up and got lost in the storm

You’ve gone 12 rounds and got beat down by life

Strewn across the surgery table under anxiety’s knife

Shattered rose colored glasses, blinded to the poetic

Battered by a cyclone of rage, and oh so unapologetic

This is now the normal homeostasis

Forced to go into the world with several wounded faces

You desire to heal those wounds, so down the drugs

Everything is better with daily chemical hugs

to feel normal, be human, this is the cost

But what do you do when you’re doped up and lost?

-Poetic Ice